And Somehow
by bisexualcharliedavis
Summary: "I'm scared because one day I'll get married, and I'm scared of that because I'm scared that I won't love him as much as I love you right now." In his shock of her blurting out her deep and private feelings, something Vivian normally kept locked away and hidden inside herself, he doesn't even notice she said scared three times in the same sentence. *edit to fix text


When James wakes up, he's alone. Which is odd, because he is one hundred percent sure that he went to bed with someone. He sits up, and looks around his bedroom. There are two sets of clothes on the floor. A night dress, which looks thick and heavy, decorated with gold embroidery, and his own green top and tan pants. So he'd gone to bed with A woman.

He knew that.

With Vivian.

He can almost feel her soft lips on his skin, and her arms underneath his grip. The soft flesh of her upper arms as he searched for traction, and the way the light from the moon shone on the thin sheen of sweat on her throat as she tilted back her head.

He shakes the memories away and makes his way out of bed, he tugs a dressing gown around himself, noticing that Vivian's is missing. It only takes him another second to see her standing by the window, the silhouette of her thighs is visible through the sheer fabric of her untied dressing gown. Her legs are crossed one behind the other, her hair is dishevelled and she looks tired.

He slowly stood, and moved to stand behind her, placing his arms gently around her shoulders and settling his chin on her shoulder.

"This can't go on." She said, softly, staring out into the distance.

"What do you mean?" He asked, softly, he had no intention of giving up the delightful peaches and cream princess he'd snagged for himself.

"I mean we can't keep doing this." She said, a tad kinder. "These meetings, these lies, it's hard." James kisses her neck despite her.

"Well no one said it would be easy." She sighed softly, and looked down to him. She shook her head and moved back to the bed, lying down and shutting her eyes for a minute. James followed and laid next to her. After a moment, Vivian rolled over and lay one leg over his. James placed a hand on her bare thigh and ran his fingers gently across the smooth skin.

"I'm scared, James." She said, softly, so soft he wasn't sure if he was actually meant to hear it or not.

"Why?" He asked, surely Vivian wasn't afraid of the dark, or him, was she?

"I'm scared because one day I'll have to get married." James nods, she speaks the truth but that's not a reason to be scared is it? His parents had seemed to enjoy being married and he didn't think that he wouldn't enjoy it, wither. "I'm scared because…" She tried to start but couldn't continue on what she was about to say.

"I won't know if I can help or not if you don't say." James pointed out, with raised eyebrows. Vivian sighed gently.

"I'm scared because one day I'll get married, and I'm scared of that because I'm scared that I won't love him as much as I love you right now." In his shock of her blurting out her deep and private feelings, something Vivian normally kept locked away and hidden inside herself, he doesn't even notice she said scared three times in the same sentence.

"You love me?" He asks. Vivian give him a tiny nod and a little weak smile.

"Yeah, I do." James places a hand on the back of her head, his fingers thread between the silky locks of her black hair. He sees his fingers vanish into the inky blackness of the night around them.

He doesn't reply right away, he considered his next response carefully. "Go back to sleep, Vivian." He murmured. Vivian let out a soft sigh, and he saw the light stop reflecting off of her eyes as she shut them.

He didn't sleep that night, he spent it watching Vivian as she breathed slowly, her soft breathing was suddenly accusing in his ears as he waited for the morning light to streak the horizon.

As dawn painted the sky, James slowly got out of bed and started to dress himself. He picked up Vivian's crumpled dress, and held it up to his face for a moment, and took a breath of the soft perfume that was worn the previous night, before laying it out on the he desk chair. He sat on the bed, and looked at Vivian as she slept. He notices now in the sunlight, that tiny pins with little silver stars on the tip are littered through her hair, in true queenly fashion. He gently removes one, and after a moment, tucks it away in his pocket. He doesn't know why.

He passes Sofia on the way down the hall. Normally Sofia would never be awake by now. He smiled at her as she passed him. "Good morning." he said. She nods.

"It will be. Vivian and I are having breakfast down by the stream, would you care to join us?" James nods.

"I'd love to. Good luck getting Amber too though." Sofia lets out a breathy chuckle.

"I think it would just be cruel." James smiles, and doesn't say goodbye as they part.

He follows his feet into the music room, and sits himself behind the piano. He never had the patience for music before but it means so much to Vivian that he has to make patience.

He must have been there for at least two hours before he returns to the bedroom. Vivian is still undressed, and the room is still in disarray. She's back to sitting by the window, gazing out. James approached her, and sat next to her. "Have you ever written your own song?" He asked. Vivian looks confused for a second, before nodding.

"Yes, many." She answered, vaguely.

"I have as well. When we were little, Amber and I used to sing our Royal Twin song." Vivian regarded him with soft eyes, full of love.

"When I was little, I would write little tunes for my mother to dance too." She said, softly, "She was so graceful." James nods, and after a moment, passes her a sheet of paper.

"I wrote this for you." Vivian looks down at the paper in her hands, the music is hard to read, and she can see the mistakes but it came from him, and he hopes she thinks that it's the thought that counts.

"Is this an I love you too?" She asked. James nodded weakly. Vivian smiled at him.

"Thank you, I'll play it when i have the chance." She said. James grins at her, unable to truly put into words how much she really does mean to him.

"I really do love you. ' Vivian nods,

"I love you. " And some how, forever seems so long away.


End file.
